Table Of Contents

Chapter 1

Money The Hard Way
“Back before there was such a high percentage of lawyers in this country, there was a rodeo act called ‘Money The Hard Way.'”
Recipe: Lasagna The Easy Way

Chapter 2

Swamp Thing
“Traveling in an all‑out run, Swamp Thing [a bucking bull] was galloping down sidewalks and between houses with grace and style.”
Recipe: Beefy Western Pie

Chapter 3

“George didn’t just buck out, he launched. He went straight up, really high, every single time.”
Recipe: Aunt Betty Lou Stew

Chapter 4

Doing What Comes Naturally
“For example, the ferocity of a feral stallion can be beautiful in photos or on film. But that’s not the same feeling you get when one turns on you in person.”
Recipe: Frozen Blended Bananas

Chapter 5

The Best Kind
“As Bill [the pickup man] reached for him, Bubba’s [the bronc rider] body weight slid the bareback riggin’ down the side of the bronc and out of reach. Bubba was dragging now, barely escaping injury, or worse, beneath four galloping hooves.”
Recipe: Crunchy Potatoes

Chapter 6

Clowning Around
“For some reason, nothing will entertain a stock contractor or the chute help more completely than driving the clowns crazy.”
Recipe: Cool Whip Salad

Chapter 7

This Way, Thata Way, Gone
“In only a couple of minutes, Conway had knocked two people out cold. That’s an enviable record for any bronc.”
Recipe: Why The Location Of The Return Gate Matters

Chapter 8

Hot Dog Steer
“As the child stopped for a closer look, the steer sniffed the hot dog in the boy’s outstretched hand.”
Recipe: ‘Dogs And Taters

Chapter 9

Oh No, Old Glory
“…I nudged my sorrel horse Gui, and gave him his head. We thundered through the gate. It was just as we entered the sight of the crowd, right where the end of the roping box was, that I ran over the guy.”
Recipe: Red and White Strawberry Cake

Chapter 10

Racehorse Bronc
“The jockey catapulted from his specially made saddle with a loud popping sound. He flew the width of the track before skidding across the Oklahoma Lovegrass on his belly. He scraped up dirt with the brim of his hat and funneled it down his shirt.”
Recipe: Palomino Corn

Chapter 11

Sudsy Wudsy
“The Sudsy Wudsy, of course, was a fake bottle of laundry detergent doubling as a fake bottle of moonshine. The act also required two rodeo clowns willing to milk it for all it was worth.”
Recipe: Window Cleaner

Chapter 12

Danger Posting The Colors
“Unintentionally, the riders took dead aim at each other. Seeing the imminent collision, both men altered course. There was only time for one guess, and they chose the same direction.”
Recipe: Safety Posting The Colors

Chapter 13

The Foot Race
“…[my horse and I] set out after her [a Longhorn cow], galloping all‑out to catch up. We were a lot closer to her by the time we left the pasture through a cut barb-wire fence.”
Recipe: Janet’s Barbecue Meatballs

Chapter 14

A Slip Of The Tongue
“It was Batman’s unusual size that about ended the career of a new rodeo announcer the same night it started.”
Recipe: Broccoli Raisin Salad

Chapter 15

The Swedish Bronc Rider
“That evening, the brave, if not overly informed, farmer paid his fees for the bareback bronc riding. When another bronc rider learned the man didn’t even have a riggin’ to use, the soft-hearted cowboy loaned him his.”
Recipe: Dutch Pie Crust / Streusel Topping

Chapter 16

Bulls Just Want To Have Fun
“When Circle C bucked a bull rider off, he had a favorite game he loved to play with them… he would lift the guy off the arena floor and spin him like a pinwheel.”
Recipe: Pumpkin Cream Pie

Chapter 17

War Paint
“War Paint [a bronc] grabbed the man by a muscle on his back, right below the armpit. Though he used his teeth, it was more of a grab than a bite. War Paint needed a handle.”
Recipe: Seven Layer Cookie Bars

Chapter 18

Bird Dog and the Lime Green Princess
“I didn’t want to ride a horse I had never seen before at top speed through the arena carrying a flag. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, just to be reminded why you shouldn’t.”
Recipe: Pumpkin Crunch

Chapter 19

“You Can’t Fool Me, Mister!”
“…the youngster was walking behind a row of tied horses. He would pause directly behind each one, then reach up as high as he could to give the horse several solid pats beside their tail.”
Recipe: Double Bake Fudgy Brownies

Chapter 20

One For All
“I looked over my shoulder at him [the bull], and have to say he looked like a real man—or woman—killer as he came at us. The crowd gasped.”
Recipe: Apple Salad

Chapter 21

Snake, Part 1
“One guy, though, was either too slow or too confined by the crowd to get out in time. As Bill and Snake [pickup horse] stood there for a moment, Bill heard a begging, pleading voice from somewhere below.”
Recipe: Quick Chocolate Cherry Cake

Chapter 22

A Conversation With Shredder
“The other guy had made the mistake of watching. He was sitting with his arms straight down, clutching the sides of his chair. His mouth was wide open, but no sound was coming out.”
Recipe: Rodeo Potatoes

Chapter 23

Snake, Part 2
“…Frequently, one of the clowns would grab the horse’s long tail with one hand and dirt‑ski into the arena behind them. In the other hand, the clown would fire a modified shotgun loaded with gunpowder and toilet paper.”
Recipe: Cake Mix Chocolate Cookies

Chapter 24

Something Interesting
“A bull had jumped out… and the owner wanted to know if Bill and Danny would find the bull and rope him. I wonder if he knew that was a lot like asking a couple of bored Labrador puppies if they wanted to go for a swim.”
Recipe: Homemade Pumpkin Puree

Chapter 25

A Good, Plain Brown Horse
“My horse was going as fast as a fit, healthy, willing ranch horse could run. With every step, I was asking him if he had any more.”
Recipe: Biscuits, Simplified

Chapter 26

Only Two Ends Of A Bull To Rope
“After all, there are only two ends of a bull to rope, and nobody wants to be the only cowboy in the truck on the way home who didn’t get to rope something.”
Recipe: Muffin Pan Biscuits

Chapter 27

No Place To Park
“When things were going their way, they were some of the friendliest cows I’ve ever known. If things weren’t going their way, though, it was a good idea to keep in mind that a Brahma cow rarely bluffs.”
Recipe: Baked Scrambled Eggs

Chapter 28

First Bull, Last Date
“…she joined us behind the chutes and settled in to help. Since she was our friend’s date, “accidentally” running a pen of broncs over her was an awkward solution.”
Recipe: Pie Crust In The Pan

Chapter 29

Oh, Chute
“You have to love the chute help because they love the livestock. They believe that being the one chosen to break up a bullfight is an honor, and don’t mind staying up into the small hours of the night to feed.”
Recipe: Homemade Horse Hoof Conditioner

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